Your thoughts determine how you feel and ultimately who you are. If you think positive thoughts, you will feel good. If you think negative thoughts, you will feel poorly. It’s that simple.
“There’s nothing good or ill, but thinking makes it so” is a line from Hamlet. Buried in his dialogue, Shakespeare is illuminating a universal truth: every event that occurs in life is neutral. It is your perception of the event that determines whether it is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. The thing to understand about your thoughts and perceptions is that they are choices. Every thought you have, no matter how fast it comes to mind or how strongly it strikes you, you ultimately have a choice whether or not you want to accept it. Consequently, the more positive thoughts you choose the more positively you will view your life.
The reason we judge our experiences and divide them into positive and negative is because we are protecting our identity. But this is an identity we’ve made for ourselves, and we must ask ourselves, is this identity really helpful? Is it even really who we want to be? Again, we have choices here. The more often we let external circumstances determine our feelings, the more we make ourselves a victim to life. The less attachment we place on our personally perceived identity the less external circumstances are able to affect us. There is a Zen proverb here that sums it up nicely: Let go or be dragged.
A practical solution to not letting our predetermined ideas about ourselves dominate us is to live in the present moment. “Fear flourishes in a mind that is obsessed with the past and future, but it has no existence in a mind that is present.” Yes, when we are present, we will still experience our emotions, but the key is to not judge ourselves. Whatever our response to a given stimulus is, if it is honest and truthful, is okay. We get into trouble when we judge the experience and our reaction to it because judgement is a sharp weapon, and we only harm ourselves with it. Just like the passing of the present moment, our emotions too will pass, and we must watch them sail away. New ones will come into port soon enough, and we can choose how long they are allowed to dock.
There is a mental discipline that is required to unlock your mind and to let these things go, but the inner freedom that comes with it can be truly revolutionary.